Festive Streets; Crowded Bus; Quiet Baby

Been bringing Faith out quite often.Nursing wear proved to be real handy especially during the festive seasons when everywhere is crowded. Queues for nursing rooms were long sometimes. Other times we're just trying to get away from the shopping crowd a.s.a.p. to go home. So far I've breastfed on buses and cabs, in cafes and restaurants, in church...hehe, yesterday I continued feeding Faith while walking into the building after I got off the cab. Nobody would notice unless they were watching closely!

Baby Massage

Thanks to Celia for teaching me how to massage Faith to relieve her colic. Tried when we got home. Faith was delighted! And she did pass out some gas and burped easier during the feeds that followed! She appeared to be much calmer and peaceful after the massage. She would even let me leave her in her bed while I did a bit of housework! She's usually glued to me when she's awake these days, and I'd always have to work around the house with one hand -- which is the reason the house has been in a real state of mess these days. :( Hate it, but I have to keep consoling myself to 'do what I can'.

I've signed up for Baby Massage at Babies N Cream. Looking forward to class starting next week.

Colic

Faith's colic was at it's worst (touch wood :p so far) day before yesterday. Something happened to scare her too, while Andrew was playing with her when he came home after work. She was smiling happily at Daddy, then her smile suddenly switched to wailing as if she was in pain! We were both shocked and didn't know what to do with her. Checked every bit of her body to see that she's not hurt, but it took her a long time to eventually stop crying after I held her tight and comforted her while I paced around the whole house. But couple of hours later, as soon as she was placed into Andrew's arms , she started crying and eventually was wailing until her whole little body was shaking! Poor Andrew must have felt so bad about what he didn't even know he did or not that Faith cried again and again when passed to him each time. Eventually he didn't even dare to touch her or let her see him. :(

Thank God Faith broke into a beautiful smile at Daddy yesterday afternoon when we had lunch at Ghim Moh after appointment with the infant care centre's principal. I could see Andrew melting at his little girl's smile...we always melt when she smiles. :) I was sooooo glad and grateful that the two 'made up'. Hehe...so touched when I see them looking into each other's eyes and smiled...almost cried. :')

Can't Sleep...

Faith is finally asleep...but I've woken up and can't get back to sleep. Well, at least it's a quiet night to myself with Daddy and Baby asleep.

Half a month gone again and I haven't got time to blog. I do spend time on the pc, shopping online to stock up on nursing wear, but not blog. Just couldn't think at a slower pace. Time flies, Christmas is past and soon the year. Lots of passing thoughts in my mind of what's happened recently and what's going to happen...Illyssa's turning 6 today...Zac's turning 8 next week...gathering with Michelle and Rita for tea...Faith's baptism...Faith going to infant care...Ikea coming to replace the soaked cabinet...Chinese New Year...going back to work...etc. My mind is just filled with stuff like that.

Beginning of New Routine

While I have yet to sort out the many thoughts and worries in my mind, Faith has turned one month old, and I am left to take care of my baby girl and the household since my mom went back to her own home. It's been five days since, I am now more confident handling Faith on my own -- even bringing her out alone! (",)v

Well, I'm no Wonder Woman...basically, I've just got to keep reminding myself to handle priorities of each moment with the limited amount of time and energy level I have. As much as I would like the house to be spic-and-span, I'd just have to close one eye (sometimes both!) until I can do better.

When I get bored staying at home and revolving around Faith's feeding time, I'd take a break and bring her out for a walk. I tend to sink into depression from stagnance and I don't want to go that way because when I'm unhappy, it affects people around me.

I'll just have to slow down for now and focus on one thing at a time, rather than worry about too many things undone. My hands are full at the moment with Faith beginning to demand more attention -- my learning schedule as a new mom is full now...

BE A RESPONSIBLE BREASTFEEDING MOM!!!

* Please ignore the above unless it applies to you too.

A reminder to myself -- the following drinks are to be crossed out from my beverage list because what I drink is what my baby drinks. :(

and

Couldn't resist temptation and sneaked a coffee while lunching out with mom this afternoon. My poor baby hasn't been able to sleep... :( she must be so tired... the effect is wearing out on both of us now, but I feel so, so guilty...

Happy 1st Date Anniversary!!!

Today marks 2 years since Andrew and I first met. :) Our baby girl is 26 days old. Mom watched Faith for us while we had an evening out. Nothing fancy -- simple, just like when we first met. What we enjoy most of each other's company...is simply each other -- no more, no less.

Focus

Andrew shared news from his cell group when he got home:

- S&CQ's son, their second child, is born via caesarian today -- but baby's not suckling and on drip.

- J&M's daughter, also their second born, is having high fever.

- CK's family are away on holiday, but they lost their luggage.

As Andrew was telling me all these, I instinctively put my other arm over Faith protectively as I carried her. What dawned on me was -- are all these to bring our attention back to God? Then I remembered -- Andrew has been having a fever for the past two days.

Seems quite a number of them wouldn't be able to run the marathon tomorrow after all.

Looking for directions...

Faith is 22 days old today. The last 22 days have been a flash to me. The hours passed as I watched the clock and the notebook jotting Faith's feeding time. Andrew and I have not even spoken much to each other of anything else besides Faith's development and managing the household. We are both stressed up by the lack of sleep and took turns falling sick. He is down with fever and still trying to complete his thesis.

I am like someone in the sea trying to catch a glimpse of directions from where I am now that I managed to regain a bit of foothold. I don't want to be 'just a stay-at-home-mom with no occupation'. Neither do I want to lose the joy and pleasure of enjoying Faith's company and looking after the household by being so tied down to even be able to find time for prayers.

I managed to steal some time to read while Faith was asleep and feeding today, and finished the chapter on 'Finding Time for Growth' in 'The Stay At Home Mom' by Donna Otto. I had borrowed the book from National Library on 23 Oct -- the weekend before we moved from Dragon View Park, but have not been able to finish reading the book due to so many things happening after that.

The author states the difference between goals and desires. Goals are often confused with desires. A desire is something you want to do that requires someone else's co-operation for accomplishment, while a goal is something you can accomplish that cannot be hindered by someone else.

I need to define and separate my goals and desires and write them down for a clearer view...

Faith learnt the bottle-way!

Phew...and hurray! Faith finished 2 ounce of milk each time for 3 feeds from the bottle today!

To some mothers who are pro-breastfeeding, they might wrinkle their noses if they read this -- even I never dreamt this would be such a concern to me until I realized I actually have to 'train' Faith to drink from the bottle.

Almost all materials I have read during my pregnancy told me NOT to give her the bottle too early for fear of nipple confusion, and that she might reject the breast because it is much easier to drink from the bottle than the breast. But guess what? My little girl rejected the rubber teat flat and would rather continue to wail in hunger! My heart teared when I think of how she's gonna cope when I have to leave her at the infant care centre when I return to work in February -- and the tears 'overflowed' through my eyes when Andrew shook his head and mumbled, 'She's gonna lose weight the first week she's at the infant care...'

The usual me would just continue to worry myself sick and get depressed again. Luckily God always have a way of releasing my hands when I couldn't. One night during one of the night feeds, I sneezed and sprained my back muscle again. I had no choice but to rush to 马光TCM to seek help first thing in the morning, leaving Faith at home with mom. When mom tried feeding Faith frozen breast milk in a bottle, she licked the rubber teat and whined again. Mom persisted patiently and eventually got Faith to suck from the bottle!

The next day, I decided to try feeding her using the bottle during one of the feeds. This time she refused and wailed again. I was kinda disheartened and got worried again. Mom encouraged me to be patient and persevere. She said it takes time for babies to accept new things.

Today, I decided to try again. She licked the rubber teat slowly, her big eyes staring inquisitively at me...then she started to suck from the bottle! I was so proud of her! Towards the end of the feed, as she dozed off, she stopped sucking and went back to licking the rubber teat again. Then I realized she wasn't rejecting the rubber teat -- that is her usual reflex pulling milk from my breast with her tongue! And when she couldn't get milk out of the rubber teat by that reflex, she cried out of frustration and hunger!

Geez...I had forgotten that bottle-feeding is a new skill that she and I are both just picking up, and needs more practices to make perfect. Something so small, yet is one of those precious lessons Andrew and I picked up as new parents.