Rainbows from God

Too busy for a walk with the children?

2011-12-08T11:53:00.001+08:00

'Pulling away from the television and taking your children on a walk may put you behind on housework...' - my reflections on this devotion - guilty.

Joy was asking me couple of nights back, 'Mom, why are you always busy and have no time to teach me how to play the black-and-white-seed game (Reversi)?' I thought my reply was indignant, 'Because I have to cook, clean the house and wash the clothes, etc. etc. Who will do all these if mommy doesn't?' She said thoughtfully, 'Mmm...because there's no ayi in Singapore.' Guess I should still keep reminding myself to relax in some things.

Routine and order is necessary in a household, but what matters to the children still matters a lot to me - doing things together. A blessing for me that they enjoy play as much as participating in household chores with me. Think I might encourage them to finish up household chores with me so that we have more time to play together when work is done. :)

Reading Together at Bedtime

2011-12-06T05:56:00.000+08:00

人生的标杆

2011-08-05T22:41:00.003+08:00

小时候大人都对我说学习为了求知识、学做人。成绩再好，不懂得做人的道理，大人说：白读了。轮到我们的下一代，上学是为了考试。及格不够；怎么读不重要；重要的是绝对不能被比下去？我糊涂了--人生到底什么重要？让你爬到最高处，顶多你的丧礼比我风光。可我们都不会看到自己的丧礼--那……还重要吗

Faith Can Read

2011-08-03T16:55:00.000+08:00

Went grocery shopping with Faith this morning. She tried to read every sign that caught her eye and was delighted whenever I confirmed what she read. It's a new skill she's eager to practice and master. 5 years 9 months. I celebrate your new achievement, precious. If we'd started earlier, you're probably not that keen by now. :)

强？

2011-07-31T02:39:00.003+08:00

朋友劝我该送孩子进学校，我才能轻松点；孩子也能学习不被欺负。因为她们在学校里能学会在家教育学不到的‘反击’。她对。因为我只教孩子们见到有‘潜质’的是非人、是非地，绕道或退后观察。我只教她们爱神、爱人、自爱，没教她们要拿第一名。什么竞争都有赢家、输家，那……再赢一个又有什么特别吗？

无敌

2011-07-27T08:38:00.003+08:00

当你说话最大声、道理最强硬，别人都闭嘴了，不意味你最懂、最对、你赢了。你已经成了一个不值得对话的对象。别人少跟你说话，不是‘不敢’；不是‘敬畏’你的‘威严’或‘权威’；更不是因为对你有愧疚--世上没那么伟大的人，也没有人是绝对亏欠谁的。也许和你保持距离能减少一些烦恼？图个清静？

In the eyes of a child...

2011-03-12T21:18:00.000+08:00

Joy asked me, 'What 'Tohoku', mom?' as I repeated absently while reading my dear Japanese teacher's reply on Facebook regarding the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan.

I told her it's a place in Japan and that there was a huge earthquake and tsunami -- a huge wave as high as tall buildings that had washed off many people's homes and cars. She said, 'It's ok, mom, when the big wave goes away, the people will build their houses and find their cars again, and they will find their way back.'

Hmmm...she doesn't understand...I thought I might try to illustrate consequences of the disaster with a little more severity. So I told her, 'The big wave has also washed many people's daddies, mommies and children away. They are lost forever...can never be found.' She said, 'Then I will put a whistle in my mouth and blow like this (demonstrating with her finger), so they can hear me and find their way home...then, then Joy Joy will build a house and everybody build a house and I will tell them to go inside, go inside and stay there...then we go and find the rest home.'

Words of a child...heart of a child...I'm trying to recall how disasters appeared to me when I was a child...

静和也会自己吃饭

2010-10-22T01:42:00.000+08:00

Following God Closely

2010-06-05T02:20:00.000+08:00

God has become very real to me since we came to Shanghai. Of course He has always been, since the day He called me and I was saved; but this is different...

From the day of our departure from our comfort zone (even though neither of us stopped grumbling while we were there, it is the place we were most familiar with), God has been teaching us to depend upon Him. We have indeed seen His generous providence in every area of our life here.

Last year, I learnt that He desires most for us to walk with Him -- not too far ahead or behind (and reluctant to follow). I learnt that Christianity is not a religion. It is about our relationship with God, our Father, and the people we meet. It is as simple as it has been put in the Bible, 'Love God' and 'Love your neighbours (people).

This year, I have been learning 'to wait upon the Lord', 'to be faithful to the Lord, our God', 'to obey'. Tonight it occurred to me that all the training and trials that we have been put through are blessings from the Lord! Praise be to Him!

Thank You, Father, for never tire of educating and encouraging us.

Order

2010-04-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

Too much on my mind, and too many things calling my attention. Need to get organized... Meanwhile, I haven't missed a day or an hour of enjoying my little jewels. :) Grateful and blessed to be able to partake every bit of their learning journey. We are being educated and parented too -- by our heavenly Father. Thank You!

Progress

2010-03-01T02:46:00.000+08:00

February has ended; so has 元宵 marked the close of 春节. The whole month had been practically written off as 'school holidays', hehe... Especially for those two weeks when KH was on holidays, the girls were 'reminding' him last thing every night, and first thing every morning -- 'Daddy don't need to go to work, ok? 'Daddy stay at home, ok?' or 'Daddy go gai gai with us, ok?' We've had a wonderful time. :)

Faith didn't stop learning, even though we were 'on holidays'. She is so keen and I enjoy taking school with her everywhere, anytime! How wonderful has God made His little children; so keen to learn about His world.

Thought I'd just make a note on her progress I've observed this month:

She is listens to and understands my instructions better, as we do simple activities from books.

She listens more, and interrupts less when we read aloud to her.
She has better control as she traces dotted lines with pencils.
She traces her finger on big printed numbers and letters when she sees them.
I taught her simple addition with her fingers (up to 10). She's counting -- and having fun. :)
She started attending painting and clay workshops at an art school in 红梅路 before the Chinese New Year holidays. She is trying harder to communicate in Mandarin.
Oh, I also noticed she understands the concept of 'different' now. :) So, I could reinforce that.

Hopefully Grandma can take some of the attention from Joy and Peace off me, so I can do more with Faith during her visit.

Has it been that long?

2010-01-31T08:26:00.000+08:00

I found myself repeatedly being surprised by 'big news' like that, whenever I read or hear something from the web or friends' blogs. Has it really been that long? Feels like I'm in the ancient Chinese story of 南柯一梦.

Then again, it is becoming increasingly ridiculous to me that such news can actually snowball so big it captures Singaporeans' eyes and ears day and night!

Blog Again in 2010

2010-01-28T02:59:00.000+08:00

Don't know how often this is gonna happen. I think it might be good if I do schedule regular blogging into my routine -- so I could re-start the habit of slowing myself down daily (or weekly) to reflect.

Been physically and emotionally tired. Grouchy especially at night when I still can't stop doing things or have some quiet time. Actually...'grouchy' is an understatement -- I get totally UPSET.

Anyway, here I am tonight, from being exhausted to sleepless...I wondered why. The funny thing is, I finally had a good night before the girls all went to bed! *LOL* KH's laptop finally gave up after 5 years, so Faith had to 'give up' her regular bedtime Sesame Street too. Faith, Joy and I enjoyed snuggling up on the couch to read books they took turns pulling out from the shelves, while KH backed up his data. Thank God, Baby Peace finally fell asleep in my arms after a long day of not much sleep (for an infant of her age).

January is coming to an end. Looking back at our first month of homeschool, I seem to still be in introduction. For our homeschool journal:

Faith is still not ready for the entire curriculum.
She likes the pictures, but the stories are too lengthy to make her sit and stare at one page for that long. I've replaced Bible stories with The Beginner's Bible Stories. She grasps and retains more from this version.
She is getting used to the routine that we're (still) setting up -- Music and Movement, Calendar, Prayer, Bible Story and Work (Craft, pre-writing skills, etc.) Even when it's beyond school time, when she wanted me to read her a Bible story, she'd close her eyes, put one hand on her Bible and pray.
She knows the concept of 'same'; but is still learning 'different'.
She can count one-to-one up to 10 and beyond.
Can colour within the lines.
Can trace dotted lines.
Can cut better with scissors.
Nods, shakes her head, and verbally expresses her wishes more often now.

Looks like I haven't relaxed my eyes afterall. Hmmm...

The Lord's Prayer

2009-07-13T03:27:00.005+08:00

We could see the children's insecurity... No, they haven't been naughty or seeking negative attention if that's what some parents might think, or insist -- but we know our own children and we know when it's a real menace or fear.

Joy has been crying and clingy at nap and bed times. Couldn't do anything with her -- she wouldn't let me carry her if I wasn't leaving the room with her; but I couldn't because Faith needed me too, and it's bed time. Eventually, KH couldn't bear her wails and picked her up from the foot of the bed. She struggled to get off just like when I tried to carry her, but was calmed in seconds and fell asleep in less than 5 minutes -- yes, she's THAT tired! Not because her day was stretched; she's just that tired from all that stressful crying!

Later on, KH told me he only sang The Lord's Prayer to her and before he even finished, she was asleep. That has been going on for more than a week now, and it seem to have bonded Joy to daddy a lot. It's a blessing that she's taken to daddy for her needs just before the arrival of her new sibling. How wonderous God's timing.

Faith, on the other hand, has been more fragile emotionally for quite awhile...very, very sensitive. Sometime back, it was she, who requested one evening when she was teary and apprehensive about going to bed, "Mommy, Jesus pray...". I couldn't understand her, so I asked her what she meant, and waited. She thought again quietly and pointed to a framed cross-stitch that was just passed to us by our friends who were leaving Shanghai, and said, "Mommy sing...Jesus pray."

All I could think of was The Lord's Prayer, but I wasn't sure because I don't remember her hearing it much after she was born -- it was only sung in the Catholic church and she's been attending protestant Sunday schools since we moved to Shanghai! I do remember deeply, though, that she leapt in my womb when The Lord's Prayer was sung at Good Shepherd.

So I asked her if she wanted me to sing 'Our Father in heaven...'. She repeated, "Sing 'our Father'." I sat her on my lap and sang. I could feel her comforted and calmed in my arms. After that night, she cuddled up to me more often again, and would often spontaneously hug and kiss me, telling me, "Mommy, I love you, too."

Last night she sang herself to sleep with the prayer for the first time -- tired after all the crying and talking -- I had to discipline her over some bedtime issue. She only sang 'Our Father'; I sang the rest. She was asleep before I finished. Tonight she sang again after she asked KH to sing. Her voice was so sweet when she said, "Papa sing 'the Father'?" When we sang quietly with her, we realized she could now sing 'Our Father in heaven' clearly. What followed that she couldn't remember or pronounce yet, she waited to hear us and tried to follow. Music has so far been the best way for me to teach her anything. Praise God for that! Recently we're seeing too, that she's taking to doodling and telling us her story as she doodles with pen, crayon, pencils or paint. I noticed that started and evolved dramatically since KH sat down with her and drew her sad story of her balloon being blown away.

We are so grateful that God has given us this labour of love to be parents, and have been teaching us to enjoy them, with His wisdom and His love. Indeed, in all circumstances as we give thanks to You Lord, You have blessed us. Amen.

Blog Blocked

2009-06-29T07:16:00.000+08:00

It's been a pain -- seems all blogging spaces were blocked just before June 4 until now! What an ostrich behaviour! Ancient Chinese wisdom 'to cover one's ears as one steals the bell'??? HAHA! ;p

God vs Money

2009-05-15T09:33:00.003+08:00

Deuteronomy 8:3, 5

...人活著不是單靠食物，乃是靠耶和華口里所出的一切話。你當心里思想，耶和華你神管教你，好像人管教兒子一樣。

...man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mout of the Lord. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.

This has been on my mind yesterday after a casual chat with a friend who shares similar outlook on life and dreams for their family. Both of us and our husbands understand and take jobs and achievements in career as a tool -- tool to transport us to our dreams. So we could always exchange a seemingly comfortable state of life we have at anytime for an experience of a lifetime. We talked about this when she shared with me how many have questioned she and her husband's decision to move to China despite not speaking the language or knowing the culture at all. I replied her, half-jesting, 'The next time someone asks you this same question, maybe you should tell them that you came here precisely because you do not know anything about this place, so you could learn.' We both had a good laugh and agreed, 'Indeed!'

What also came to me was this,

Matthew 6:24

一個人不能侍奉兩個主。不是惡這個愛那個，就是重這個輕那個。你們不能又侍奉神，又侍奉瑪門（注：“瑪門”是指“財利”的意思）。

No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Money is not evil. But being overly focused on money and material needs and wants definitely distracts one's attention from everything else -- is that not the same with all other things? How then can we claim to trust in God but is still praying hard for wants or hopes, and not God's will?

I have been thinking about conversations we've had with friends...worries about funds for children's future education, medical, retirement, child-births and having (or not having more) children (at all!), holidays, etc. Do we sometimes worry too much that we forget God is in charge? Are most of these worries justified?

Then, I was wondering, why do we worry about money all the time when we have a job? Worry we'd lost THIS job? Worry we'd not have a job as well-paying and high level as this? Worry we'd not have a job at all? Is it possible not to have a job at all if one is willing and happy to do any kind of work? God has blessed me with good training in my younger days when I had to be thankful that I even had a job -- any job at all, just to survive and pay bills; nothing more.

I was blessed with a thankful heart because of the hard life and constant fear I was raised in. Who would have thought there would be a youth born among the 'well-educated' 1970s who had to struggle and fight for opportunities to further education beyond secondary level -- I'm probably not the only one? Many with diplomas and degrees find it difficult to secure employment -- would it not be harder for me who was blessed with neither? I thank the Holy Spirit for the constant awareness I have of God's many blessings -- because of many earthly things I did not have as a child (loving family, opportunities for further education and other enrichment classes, expensive clothes and toys, etc.), I get to count my blessings now.

I pray for God's wisdom and for Him to soften my heart to learn all these with His compassion; for with my limited human's viewing points, I will not be able to see. What I CAN do in the meantime, is to be obedient to Him, be still and know that He is God, and only HE is in-charge. Amen! :)

School for Parenting?

2009-04-29T06:44:00.001+08:00

Having both been raised by single parents. or rather, fostered out for the larger part of our childhood lives, I've always said to my husband, 'There is no school to teach anyone how to be good parents.'

I say that to comfort and help us forgive ourselves so we could pick-up quickly whenever we face difficult situations in parenting. After that, we'd turn to God and the Bible for 'further instructions'. I forgot -- as Christians, we do have a 'school for parenting' by God's grace! Amen! :)

Thanks for the sharing and reminder!

Our Homeschool Curriculum Came Through...FINALLY!!!

2009-04-24T23:59:00.002+08:00

Our homeschool curriculum finally arrived at our doorstep this morning -- unexpected! The duties we have to pay was reduced from an expected RMB500+ to RMB160! My mind instantly exploded with 'PRAISE THE LORD!' fireworks!!! Friends of ours here who has followed the story would testify the same for us -- this could only be God's work.

Just yesterday, Andrew and I surrendered to God the curriculum, which was then still held at the customs for almost 3 weeks. We knew that only God could be in control and that if the curriculum couldn't come through eventually, then this is the curriculum He didn't want us to do.

Hallelujah! OUR GOD REIGNS!!!

One God

2009-02-27T17:48:00.005+08:00

This is what I have observed in the mere 18 years I have come to know Christ. From the time of the first church there ever was -- even in the Bible after Christ is risen -- church split into churches, denominations...up to this day, we see churches, even within the same denominations so defined by themselves, splitting up due to conflict in certain specifics in beliefs. Don't we all believe in the same Christ and God, the Heavenly Father?

I used to feel sad -- literally anguished about it, that I was often praying, complaining, arguing and questioning God about it -- WHY? Why do You allow this when You know and can see that whichever separated ways these people have gone into, they are Your children who love You...or at least with my limited human ability of perception from what I see on the surface. Of course, often after my strange conversation with God, I'd bow, surrender, defeated in the loving arms of my Abba, cry and smile and feel my knowledge and wisdom grow a painful, tiny fraction of an inch perhaps...and I thank God. Thank you, God, Father, for Your love to relentlessly teach us about Your ways as long as we surrender ourselves willingly.

I thank God for bringing us out of the 'little well' where we come from. He brought me to brothers and sisters in Christ who found and grew their faith in a completely different environment -- deprived and controlled of the knowledge of God and Christ. Yet God's amazing grace found them here -- of course, material wall is nothing to the Almighty God who spoke this world into being from nothing! They have impressed and strengthened me with their faith and love for each other; even me, a foreigner and stranger. Yet, however, here it is again -- strong human sense of judgement of which way they feel is right or wrong -- not for oneself but imposed on others. But this time, in the eyes of God's love, He revealed a new lesson to me.

It is human weakness to fall into pride after we get better at what we do. We think we're the specialist and we KNOW, therefore others know LESS -- we forgot that it was God who placed us where we are. After that pride, when we thought we're certain, we settle down thinking and feeling secure -- hmmm...don't remember we have to refer to God anymore. When we've finally once again thought we've found security, we stop wanting to learn new things and move out of the comfort zone that we have formed.

God allow His people to be divided from the time He cast them off the tower of Babel so that they would continue to WORK and MULTIPLY and not think they can even reach Heaven with their own ability.

'Come,' they said. 'Let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top reaching heaven. Let us make a name for ourselves, so that we do not get scattered all over the world.'

Now Yahweh came down to see the city and the tower that the people had built. 'So they are all a single people with a single language!' said Yahweh. 'This is only the start of their undertakings! Now nothing they plan to do will be beyond them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language there, so that they cannot understand one another.' Yahweh scattered them thence all over the world and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel, since there Yahweh confused the language of the whole world, and from there Yahweh scattered them all over the world. (Genesis 11:4-9)

God gave us wisdom and intelligence -- in the capacity He knows we can handle. He forbade Adam and Eve to eat the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil because He wanted to protect and bless us from the woe of evil -- but Adam and Eve thought they knew better...so here we are...they fell and our world broke down. If they'd known that evil was 'so bad', they wouldn't have tried, right? Hmmm...

砲火連天！

2009-01-30T00:17:00.002+08:00

告訴你：一點都不誇張！到現在都還沒停呢！

其實－－只是我們小區里的鄰居在放煙花！卻不知甚麼時候開始，變成三、四家都在放。過了午夜，連附近別的小區也有人家湊熱鬧；再加上我們斜對面的鄰居跟著放鞭炮起鬨......哎唷，現在我們小區里簡直是白矇矇的一片；連離我們才兩座屋子的門都看不清楚了！聲音嚮得跟大炮就在門口一樣；睡著了的希彤和心悅一直在動。

我還是和小時候一樣很喜歡看煙花；但這次我也看得涅了一把汗。我們家上空都是來往虹橋機場的飛機。煙花越放越高、越放越頻密；真怕會樂極生悲。:p

Eve of 牛 Year

2009-01-26T00:29:00.002+08:00

Feels strange even though it's not the first time we're abroad during the festival. It's like a war zone in our estate all of yesterday and today...non-stop fire crackers; businesses and families setting off their own fireworks; kids throwing sand bombs, etc.

The irony is -- they are so near that I can hear and see them from my windows, but they feel so...oblivious to me. Frankly, I don't even have memory of the time before fire crackers were banned; on the other hand, now that I'm 'immersed' in such environment where every household seems to be having their own fire cracker and fireworks party -- I don't see what the big idea is. Yes, I do see the possibility of sparks landing somewhere accidentally, but, I don't see why that possibility should be a kill joy if people try to keep themselves safe. Note: I say 'keep themselves safe', not 'try to be or play safely' -- that depends of individual sense of responsibility. In our case, we keep ourselves indoors to watch the fireworks rather than bring the kids out in 0 degree Celsius to risk sparks landing on our eyes or clothes. Who knows? We might have our own fireworks party in our garden or balcony when they are older; i.e. if we are still here. :)

It's 1 a.m. Just as I thought finally everyone seem to be calling it a night, sounds of fire crackers and fireworks renewed from somewhere...hmmm...seems they do keep the tradition of staying up on Chinese New Year's eve here.

Psalm 30:12

2009-01-11T22:28:00.004+08:00

Seeing the quiet sleeping faces of my three babies (of course -- plus the 'big one'), I felt a smile on my face. They've had a good day. A good day at church. A good day with friends and good food. We've had a good day together...tiring as most other weekends we've had, but good. :) God has continued to bless us abundantly while we're on foreign land -- well, it's my grandfather's homeland, but it's foreign to us and we're treated as foreigners here.

Our Mac Photo Booth

2009-01-10T23:32:00.000+08:00

Testing out my Mac Photo Booth while Joy was posing again. These days she likes to cock her head to one side and say 'chee-ese'. :) So here's our family photo for 2009 -- it'll look different again next year...need to squeeze more. :p

Psalm 46:10

2008-12-22T07:49:00.004+08:00

Think I've finally 'recovered' from the seemingly perpetual fatigue I was feeling in the months before we left for Shanghai. I wonder if I had been over-occupied back in Singapore...

Well, at least up until now while we are here, I don't have to rush to prepare Faith for school every morning...

Having found a good helper who comes in three days a week keeps my mind off chores and mess around the house...

Maybe I've finally found some peace in my mind to be a bit quiet and worry less...especially now that everyone's eating well and the girls are laughing again. :) I'm even looking forward to Baby Humility's cheeky grin, haha...

I think it's time for me to try for a bit more still-ness so I can hear God again...

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

你們要休息，要知道我是神！我必在外邦中被尊崇，在遍地上也被尊崇。

Psalm 詩篇 46:10

ER

2008-12-14T21:11:00.002+08:00

We seem to have some 'affinity' with Emergency Rooms this year -- and all with what goes into the mouth.

Here we go again...this time in Shanghai, for rota virus -- and it costs a BOMB! RMB10K for both KH and Faith. Spent 5-6 hours at the ER of Shanghai United Family Hospital where KH was given 5 packs of drips and repeated tests.

What we experienced: when one is sick in a foreign land -- forget about comparing prices; or trying to google for translation; WORSE~ trying to sign! Save yourselves further ordeal; being sick is bad enough. Unless you really, really cannot afford it (I mean REALLY!) -- getting medical help from someone who comprehends you COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE! Especially if you have multiple drug allergies like me.

Settling Down

2008-12-03T08:29:00.005+08:00

Wow...15 days since we arrived in Shanghai! How does time fly?! And we managed to move out of Sun Island much earlier than we were expecting. Now that we've moved into the new apartment, hopefully we can help the children adjust to Shanghai easier with a new home environment.

Yesterday was the best day we had, I think -- at least for Faith and I. We're usually open to a wide variety of food culture; but it seems Faith's and my appetite have been decreasing recently. No, no -- food here is good and in abundance; no lack of choice either -- I'm not sure if it's because we're down with a bit of cold; or is it due to fatigue (we've been running around a lot since we arrived and the weather as well as travelling time is a change for us -- Sun Island is far~)

We went to McDonald's for lunch as I've promised Faith in the morning. Had coffee and cakes at Starbucks for tea-break; and dinner at Ikea! Heheheheh...funny? Such simple bliss. :)

Shanghai !st Impressions

2008-11-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

Counting down...37 days to go

2008-10-13T15:57:00.002+08:00

37 days to our big move...

With the bigger things like renting out our flat, flight details and medical check-up sorted, there are still bits and pieces to be done before we move -- one of which is Joy's baptism. I've finally got the form from our parish church today. Hopefully we can get Baby Joy 'showered' by her 1st birthday.

Basic Wholemeal Bread

2008-10-01T23:45:00.003+08:00

Since our earliest trial from the day we bought our bread machine, we've been yielding different results from the same recipe we've followed trustingly...or should I say -- no choice since I couldn't find another basic bread machine wholemeal bread recipe.

Well, I've finally decided to experiment with a little bit of modification based on recipes from various sources -- the recipe that came with our bread machine, our favourite Betty Crocker's Best Bread Machine Cookbook and Allrecipes.com...and BINGO! Heheh...we all smiled when we saw the bread that greeted us this morning. :) Wanna know how it taste? We actually had to stop our two babies from finishing half the loaf!

Recipe for a 2 pound loaf:

Ingredients

1 1/2 cup Milk
2 tbsp Butter
2 tbsp Brown sugar (that's because we normally only have brown sugar at home)
2 tsp Salt
2 cup Bread flour
2 cup Whole wheat flour
2 tsp Bread machine yeast

Method

Put all ingredients into the bread machine according to sequence recommended by the manufacturer.
Select wholemeal cycle.

Blogging from Palm

2008-08-07T20:39:00.002+08:00

Yeay! Now I can get back to blogging! *MUACKS* to KH for this birthday present. :) No more notes and stick-it flying around, heheh...

Peaceful Moment

2008-05-13T16:43:00.000+08:00

Thanks to attachment parenting...they're growing closer to each other by the day. Now they can even keep each other asleep this way! :)

Whenever I'm not in the room, one of them tend to wake when they turn and realise I'm not with them; cry and wake the other up too. This afternoon when Faith turned and felt Joy under her arm, she continued sleeping. Joy, on the other hand, was also lulled back to sleep by the security her big sister's arm provided, even though she stirred quite a few times.

Isn't it great? :) It's worth everything to me. Doing up their room can wait (gives us more time to save up for a bigger budget for nice stuff too). KH and I decided we're not ready to miss their company in our room yet.

Where got time to cook ('_')?

2008-02-14T16:13:00.003+08:00

With a 2 year old and a 3 month old fighting for attention -- and no household helper, no drop-in babysitter -- how to cook...or do anything else?

You might shake your head and go 'tsk tsk' if I tell you how I do it -- I cook more when I prepare dinner and reserve a portion for lunch. Don't tell me 'it's not good to keep overnight' or 'always better to eat fresh'. Spending time playing 'masak masak' is an idea too luxurious for a mom with 2 babes to tend to, laundry, cleaning, etc. among other household chores. :p

Get a maid? Won't even think of that if it means risking my family's safety; especially my children's. Sure, we've had good helpers before I was married to the family and some of my friends have had excellent helpers for years too. But each time we get a new maid, we're bringing a new stranger into the house; whether this new stranger turns out to be a good helper, a 'headache' or a danger depends on individual's luck.

I choose not to risk. :p I'd rather survive with the mess and just do what I can.

My WMF Pressure Cooker

2008-02-14T15:54:00.003+08:00

More new 'toys' for us -- our latest investment in the kitchen too. ;p We need things done QUICK before our two princesses take turns to cry for attention again!

A simple lunch of brown rice and lotus with prime rib soup in less than 40 min -- Faith could even eat the soft part of the bones now because it's so jelly-soft! Ha! :D Now I know where to get my much needed 'supplement' of glucosamine and collagen. ;p

Pressure cooked brown rice -- perfect! ;q' Taste the goodness of every grain -- neither too dry and hard, nor mashy -- better than what we used to have from a rice cooker. :) My dear husband changed his mind about the quality of this new source of brown rice he's been complaining about after the first mouthful, haha!

抱着你们的感觉

2008-01-07T23:50:00.002+08:00

今天无意中想起心悦出世后出院那天的感觉。细细回想．．．当时我抱着心悦在等冠雄办出院手续；心里莫名的喜悦，好象小时候得了奖或礼物一样――那份喜悦好象满得要从我心里、嘴里溢出来一样! 希彤初生的时候，我抱着她，也有同样的感觉。这次的感觉稍微不同――好象在做梦；因为是第二次，所以感觉似曾相识。

其实，你们姐妹俩本来就是上帝赐给爸妈的无价宝。

Lasik

2007-12-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

Thank God...I really thank God -- for the second chance that my husband gets back his eyes.

Those eyes that looked right through my soul to promise love and loyalty till the end of time.

Those eyes that sometimes make it very difficult for me to forgive those people who once put fear, pain, disappointment, confusion, anger and hatred in them.

Those eyes that eventually decided not to see the world's unhappiness too clearly.

Those eyes that lit up again like an innocent little boy's when we found each other.

Those eyes that now smile more than frown.

Those eyes I prayed Faith and Joy would inherit.

Those eyes that still make me cry when they look into mine...

Christmas Present

2007-12-26T23:59:00.002+08:00

Ok, ok, I know it's supposed to be MY Christmas present and this is another kitchen appliance -- it was my request from my dear husband. ;p It's a blender, food processor and mixer all in one -- complete with dough hook! Yeah! I LOVE IT!!! *MUACK* So much time saved on cutting and I can make carrot cake again with the grater! Hurray! *^o^*

Stir-fried Beef with Asparagus

2007-10-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Another simple dish to share. Asparagus doesn't seem to be popular or at least not a favourite among Singaporeans -- possibly due to the strong smell it has that we're not used to. It's rather new to my family too; but now it appears more often on our dining table after my 'experiment' worked out sometime ago. ;)

However, while I was Googling health benefits of asparagus, I found out that KH shouldn't have too much of that due to its high purine content which can lead to accumulation of uric acid -- not so suitable for people with gout or kidney stones. :( On the other hand, lots of benefits for Faith, Joy and I, with nutrients like beta-carotene, folic acid, , phosphorus, potassium, vitamin C, E and K. :) Its high folate content makes it an excellent food for those preparing for pregnancy or who are pregnant. It also promotes healthy gut due to its content of a special carbohydrate called inulin, which promotes the friendly bacteria within the large intestine.

You'll need:

250g Beef, sliced
5 stalks Thick, green asparagus, sliced diagonally across stalks
3 cloves Garlic, chopped
2 slices Ginger, smashed with skin*

Marinade for Sliced Beef

1 tsp Light Soy Sauce
1 tsp Oyster Sauce

Seasoning

1 tsp Oyster Sauce
1 cup Hot Water (Increase or decrease according to your preference -- I like sauces to go with my rice, so I tend to add more.)

* I usually keep skin of the ginger as it reduces the heaty properties of ginger. A little ginger is used before stir-frying just to add fragrance to the dish and reduce strong smells in certain food – in this case, beef and asparagus. :)

Now start the fire. ;)

1. Heat 1 tbsp oil in a wok or pan.

2. Stir-fry ginger until fragrant.

3. Add marinated beef and stir-fry until just cooked. Dish out from wok and set aside.

4. Add another tbsp of oil if required. Stir-fry garlic until fragrant.

5. Add asparagus, stir-fry and toss for 5-7 min.

6. Add seasoning, stir-fry and mix well. Bring sauce to boil. (If you like to cook the asparagus much softer -- maybe for young children, just cover the wok, lower the flame to medium or small, and let it simmer for 5-10 min, depending on how soft you want it to be.)

7. Add stir-fried beef back into the wok, stir-fry and mix well. Serve. (Do not leave the beef in the wok or stir-fry for too long -- it becomes too tough to chew!)

Terrorists

2007-09-28T10:40:00.000+08:00

To a family, that is. To be more precise -- seemingly well-meaning people around us whose words or actions can be more of 'breakers' than 'builders' to our family.

Remembered this term from a pastor's sermon for C&WK's wedding. The term just somehow kept returning over the last three years of our marriage at different times to alert and shake me to vigilance.

* Those who say things that cause disharmony between my spouse and I -- creating doubts between us, trying to rouse us to power struggle with each other, etc.

* Those who say or do things that cause sibling rivalry and jealousy among my children -- telling the children that we love one more than the other; showing obvious preference before the children, one more than the other; saying things that compare them to each other or other children; say or do things that affect my children's self-esteem and sense of security.

* The harder ones to detect are those who are well-meaning but try to discourage or hinder us when we make certain decision or choices that we feel and know for a fact that it's best for OUR family.

Over the years as I grow as a Christian, I've learnt that vigilance takes a lot of strength -- supernatural strength from God. I continue to pray for that strength constantly and I know that I will be able to do that only with the supernatural love from God, our Father.

Towards a Gracious Society?

2007-09-19T19:37:00.000+08:00

Do you know there is a regulation in most or all condos here that domestic helpers are not allowed to use facilities in the condo such as pools and gym?

Do you know that in some private clubs here, domestic helpers are not even allowed to wait outside the entrance when they're not allowed to stay and help keep an eye on their employers' kids in the play area while they dine?

Do you know that some people actually 'will not attend an enrichment class full of maids minding their children because they are mostly not participative making the environment totally inconducive' -- what of those parents who behave in the same described manner? Will they be judged the same way?

Once, when I stood with 2 Filipino friends at the lobby area of a shopping centre we just entered trying to decide where to lunch, we were approached by a security guard who told us curtly, 'You are not allowed to stand here.' When I stared straight at him and asked even more curtly, 'Why?' He backed off saying, 'Sorry, sorry, I thought you are Filipino.' I challenged him sharply, 'So?' I still boil at that thought because I still don't understand why???!!!

Pardon my ignorance -- I only found out such attitude exists and in such extent HERE in this 'gracious society' TODAY! I am totally appalled and disgusted!

Wonder if any of those people read Emperor's New Clothes?

When tsumani struck, countless lives get flushed away -- as easily as toothpicks get washed off -- who cares who's stacked on top or beside 'a maid' or 'a foreigner'?

When the earth shook, would you choose not to hide at a certain place because it's all crowded with 'maids' or 'foreigners'?

Stripped naked of branded outfits, titles and statuses -- one looks better than another?

Stripped of different coloured skins -- some have different coloured blood or 'better blood'? That'll make blood transfusion difficult huh?

Cr*p~

对婚姻和家庭的启示

2007-08-16T07:32:00.000+08:00

今天早上天父给我的启示：

每一个人的岗位都是重要的；虽然可以互相替换，却缺一不可。如果全在前方打仗，那谁在后方支援?

想起以前我们俩都全职工作，回到家又要照顾孩子和家务。虽然我们总是什么都一起分担，但还是俩人都身心俱乏。现在，一个专心工作；一个专心看好孩子、打理家中所需。起码，下班的，只需要回家吃饭、陪陪孩子；在家的,就算需要２４小时＂待命＂，白天累了还能小睡；不至於因为双方压力都太大而日子过得不快乐。

当然，这样的婚姻及家庭生活可不可行，就见仁见智了。对我们来说，可行，那是因为我们共同的人生目标是为了所爱的人。不只是提供物质上的需要，更重要的是能和所爱的人一起笑、一起哭、一起成长、一起吃喝玩乐。

多少现代家庭，在赫然回首时，才发现和至亲已成陌路。

K.O.!!! @_@

2007-06-22T18:48:00.000+08:00

Dizziness started around Wednesday afternoon when I brought Faith out to give Daddy some peace to finish his work. I thought it was just the humidity...but that progressed to tension headache and I didn't imagine it would become one of the worst migraine relapse I'd ever had. @_@

Only started eating and drinking slowly in small quantity this morning. Couldn't even keep plain warm water in my stomach for the last 2 days! If I'd just prop my head up slightly with a pillow, I'd have to rush to the toilet and puke my guts out~! Yeeeeeucks~! *Shudder*

Everytime I felt Joy turning round and round inside me, I felt so bad for not being able to keep any food and drink down, and having to swallow so much acugesic to at least allow me to move my head and body a bit. :<

Thank God it's over. :)

Thank God for Andrew, for being a patient and caring husband and father while I was totally out. He cooked, played with Faith, fed and showered her, tucked her to bed with him at night, and tolerated her tantrums when she was tired and didn't know where to turn to when mommy and nen-nen was not available. ;p

Thank God for Faith. Despite crying more often when she was tired or feeling insecure as she probably sensed my absence and Daddy's tiredness, she plays on her own most of the time. When I was puking my gut out, she stood next to me by the toilet bowl and asked me, 'Pain? Pain?' and 'Pat? Pat?' So sweet... :) She's really my little rainbow from God. I hope she'll be less lonely when Joy comes along to be her playmate. Thank God for the two little rainbows... :)

Oh yes~ Must also thank God for Traditional Chinese Medicine -- natural remedies that come from Him. :) One of my wishes is to be able to study TCM one day and be a healer to do more of His work. Yes, me and my many wishes...those I have achieved and those I'm still looking forward to. :)

Quick Fish Soup + Chinese Spinach with Conpoy & Kei Chee

2007-06-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

Dinner tonight was onion omelette, Chinese spinach with dried scallops and kei chee, and a quick fish soup that I tried for the first time -- a yummy nutritious time-saver when I'm caught with not enough time for double-boil or slow cook options. The latter two are from Ng Siong Mui's "Secrets of Nutritional Chinese Cooking" -- soup modified cuz I couldn't get luffa today. :p Too bad we were too hungry to take photos before dinner started. ;q'

Anyway, to share with busy parents and singles out there -- here's what I did:

Quick Fish Soup

Ingredients

200g Toman Fish, sliced
100g Lean Pork, sliced
1 Carrot, peeled and sliced
1/2 can Big Button Mushrooms, sliced
2 slices Old Ginger
900ml Hot Water
1/2 tbsp Oil
Salt, to taste

Marinade

Fish: 1 tsp Light Soy Sauce
1 tsp Oil
A dash of Ground White Pepper

Pork: 1 tsp Light Soy Sauce
1 tsp Oil
A dash of Ground White Pepper

Method

1) Heat oil in a saucepan and stir-fry ginger until fragrant.

2) Add in carrot and mushrooms and stir-fry for 2-3 min.

3) Add in sliced pork and stir-fry till cooked.

4) Add in the hot water and bring mixture to boil. Lower flame and simmer for 3-5 min.

5) Add in sliced fish and bring mixture to boil again.

6) Add salt to taste.

*Note: I usually use hot water in order to shorten cooking time. :)

Chinese Spinach with Conpoy & Kei Chee

Ingredients

500g Chinese Spinach
30g Kei Chee
50g Dried scallops (Conpoy)
4 slices Old Ginger
1 clove Garlic, skinned and smashed
1/2 tbsp Oil

Seasoning

Chinese Spinach: 1 tsp Light Soy Sauce
1 tsp Oyster Sauce
1 tsp Sugar

Kei Chee and Dried Scallops: 1 tsp Cornflour mixed with 2 tsp Water and 1/2 tsp Dark Soy Sauce

Method

1) Soak dried scallops in 300ml of hot water for 1 hour. Soak kei chee in hot water separately for 1 hour too.

2) Heat oil in a wok. Stir-fry garlic and ginger until fragrant.

3) Add in Chinese spinach and stir-fry a bit.

4) Add in seasoning for Chinese spinach. Continue to stir-fry and mixed well with spinach.

5) Ladel spinach onto serving plate when cooked. Proceed to cook kei chee and dried scallop separately.

6) Drain kei chee and add to dried scallop in the 300ml of hot water which dried scallop was soaked in. Bring mixture to boil. Turn flame down to low flame and simmer for 10 min.

7) Stir in corn starch mixture. Turn off flame and ladel mixture onto Chinese spinach. Serve immediately.

Thank God for Gifts of Labour

2007-06-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

I ask God if He regretted giving me a family, and the man He gave me to marry. I've put my whole self -- heart, body and soul -- to building and managing the home; being a friend and supportive spouse to my husband as best I could; ensuring Faith feels loved and learns to love, grows feeling secure, confident, have high self-esteem and develop a passion in learning. I've stopped being active in the music ministry I love so much and was once so involved. I've stopped writing journals to God every night. I've stopped praying the rosary everyday, even though I try to call to mind The Creed, The Lord's Prayer, Hail Mary and Glory Be before I drift off to sleep. How I miss those nights of intimate conversations with God and retreats away from the worldly during quiet times...

Then it came to me...

Without my husband, I would not have learnt the new dimension of humility, tolerance and forgiveness by getting to know and learning to live with his spiritual family from the protestant church. Through our marriage, I have acquired a new spiritual family of a different denomination whom I've grown to love and be attached. I learnt how they love our one God and Saviour as deeply as I do, even though we might express our love differently as we worship and reach out to those in need in individual ways.

Without this deep love for my family and daughter, I would not have been led to the new areas of ministry where I reached parents, children and youth in need of His wisdom and knowledge of His love. He made me a privileged witness to His wisdom and wonders of His work.

I was humbled through the experiences in breastfeeding, birth and toilet training my daughter, and preparing for the birth of my next child, how simple obedience to the wonders He designed for us could save us from so much pain, struggles and suffering...if only we would choose not to set conditions and excuses for convenience out of our own selfishness -- to get more rest, more time and freedom to ourselves. Now I'm beginning to witness in awe again, how He faithfully fulfills His promises to those who labours for love...not just me, but many others I've met who do the same.

Thank You...for always reminding me of Yours gifts and how much You love us. Thank You...for always showing me Your mercy and generosity. Thank You...for always pulling me back with Your encouraging hug, whenever I'm deceived by lies of guilt and begin to stray away from You. Thank You...

Craving... :q'

2007-04-13T18:28:00.000+08:00

My homemade 'muah chee'.

Homemade ground peanut -- oven roasted; ground with our most trusted and efficient mini mincer and sweetened the way we like it. ;)

The final product. Mmmm...yummy... :q' *SLURP!*

Been craving for this, but was so 'bu gan yuan' to have paid $2 for a miserable bit bought off push cart at Parkway Parade. :( Found the recipe off the web and realized it's so easy to make!!! Lagi 'bu gan yuan' to pay $2. :p So, my usual way -- DIY. ;p

Result from first trial was not bad at all but would do better with more practice, heheh...

Second Rainbow On the Way :)

2007-03-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

Yay...'showtime' for Rainbow #2! ;) EDD 5 Nov 2007. We're hoping (though we're of course not 'in-charge' ;p) that the actual date will collide with the birth date of Rainbow #1. Haha...

Fuzhou Fish/Meat Balls ala My Style ;p

2007-02-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

Fuzhou fish/meat balls ala My Style? Of course much bigger, thinner skin with more meat fillings, and more chewy la! Hahaha...bought fish paste and tried my hand making from scratch.

Always proud of home made -- doesn't matter authentic or not; what matters more is you can have it the way you like it. ;p After all, WE are eating it what~ :p

Starting 2007

2007-01-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

We are both grateful for this much needed retreat we just had over the weekend. Both of us were spiritually and physically tired...

No one would understand the strain from this position that God has called us to. The battle and struggle has been constant -- almost never ceased ever since we acknowledged God's call and try to move in the direction He set for us. There are no two ways, for we cannot serve two masters -- we will fight on for His name.

Dream BIG...becoming BIGGER!

2006-11-30T01:40:00.000+08:00

Started on a dressmaking course 16 weeks ago. I started off wanting only to learn how to sew -- literally just putting two pieces of fabric together and join them up with a sewing machine. I didn't even know how to use a sewing machine...and didn't believe it would be easy for me to learn how to.

Over the last 16 weeeks, I've learnt

- how to take measurements for dressmaking;

- how to draw my own flat patterns for dressmaking;

- how to operate a sewing machine -- and own one :) ;

- quality and characteristics of different kinds of fabric, how to handle them with what kind of notions;

- made 2 dresses for myself, 1 skort and 1 cloth diaper for my little girl, and am still working on more sewing projects.

Didn't know I could be so hooked on sewing. :)

It is up to myself how far I want to pursue this interest -- I want to build this business. ;p I want to learn how to draw. I want to learn how to design. I want to learn how to teach others how to do it and instill the same passion in them. It might take me years, but I want to do it.

In everything I do and enjoy, I see God's presence in it. I don't believe that we always need to suffer or feel strained if we're doing something that glorifies God's name; otherwise we might be deemed as not having put enough effort. I don't believe that God, family, work and passion for something have to be separated.

I believe that all fruits of joyful labour is loved by God. And it is enough that only God appreciates. :)

简单的幸福

2006-11-02T01:17:00.000+08:00

自从有了彤彤，我已经没什么自己的时间了。最近迷上了缝纫，我更加没空了。虽然如此，我每天都过得很开心、很充实、很有成就感。每一天都是充满着感恩的。

感谢天父赐我的能力，让我当个好内助、好妈妈。:)

家和...难?

2006-11-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

从小，我最大的愿望，就是家里的人都能和和气气地说话；不为无畏的事生气。这，在我成长的家庭里，似乎还是很难的。

不能够放下以自我为中心的感受，哪能有空隙去包容、关怀别人的忧虑及伤痛呢？

短短的一辈子，就要经历多少回生离死别？谁是谁非，到了最后那一刻到底有多重要？

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

2006-07-12T03:27:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha...*@v@* I'm a beagle???!!! Geez...I seriously wonder...well, that part about the sense of smell might be right!

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky.
And your sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Completed Breastfeeding Counselling Course!!!

2006-06-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

Hurray! We've finally completed our breastfeeding counselling course!!! 6 weeks seemed so long when we first started; with reports and books to read on top of housework and babies -- now it's over in a flash and we're missing one another already! :(

It's only the beginning though -- next week we will be on the roster. I'm looking forward to more reports and books on breastfeeding knowledge, and gaining more experience on the job. Thank God for this assignment. :)

Challenging Da Vinci Code

2006-05-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

This book was first brought to my attention by one of my best friends a few years ago. I had simply dismissed it as 'rubbish'. The fact that it has risen in terms of hits on various search engines on top of the amount of negative press it had already generated proved me wrong...somehow -- it is certainly much more than JUST 'rubbish'.

Anyway, here's something to share -- applause to the strike back from sydneyanglicans.net!!! The Anglican Church in Sydney is showing it's own video in 250 cinemas to coincide with the release of the Da Vinci Code film.

Image from sydneyanglicans.net

Wondering what the truth is? Find out.

Lots to catch up, but...

2006-04-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

Long time no blog...lots to catch up, but a bit difficult with one hand bandaged leh... :(

Injury from a strained wrist from the time before Faith was even one month old has worsened. It usually only ached and was stiff when I first wake in the morning. Last Sunday I couldn't even separate my thumb and pointer without being in pain!

Dropped Faith...luckily only less than 10cm before she reached the cushion on the pram. My heart dropped; she thought it was funny. ~_~" Can't imagine possible worse horrors happening, so I went for acupuncture at Ma Kuang and returned with a bandaged right hand for the next one week.

Bear with me...lots joted on my diary that I need badly to share...things I found out through Faith's teething, cheesecake and milk supply...etc.

I'll be back...counting down to my new life as SAHM -- 18 more days. Hehe...that cheers me up. ;)

I am the Mommy-cum-Daddy this week... :(

2006-03-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

My Raindanz is on reservice this week...so I'm Mommy-cum-Daddy now. :( Hate to go home without him. Hate to go to bed without him. Hate to wake up without him. Hate to leave the house in the morning without him. Hate the messy road outside our place without him... Hate it! :(

CoUnTiNg DoWn AgAiN...

2006-03-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

This time counting down to the last day of my stay at Giant. Each time I left a job over the past years, I had different feelings; sometimes sad, sometimes angry...this time happy. :) I'm not 'retiring' -- my new occupation is Full-time Mommy! Whoever says it's not even considered 'a job', to be mentioned -- tried doing it? 24 hours x 7 days a week, no PH, no weekend off...but I want to do it cuz the bonus I am already getting from all this 'OT' cannot be offered anywhere. I have become my little girl's favourite face she smiles at everytime she sees me. I know her every cry and whimper. The things she shows me that she's learnt...

Can't imagine her calling nanny, housekeeper or EVEN my own mother when she's sick or afraid...I don't have time to look back and regret. Time passes so fast; Faith is growing out of my arms so fast...

Tagged...long time ago!!! :p

2006-03-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

Oops...tagged -- long, long time ago -- even before Faith was born!!! And I still blur, blur didn't know. Tagged by my dear husband. :p

10 Things I Enjoy Doing
(...of course, the answers might have been slightly different if I had responded to this tag in Oct 2005.)

Splashing in the bathtub with Faith!
Out for a walk with my husband and daughter on a beautiful morning.
Looking into the eyes of my loving husband under an umbrella in the rain...
Telling people about my daughter.
Breakfast at a nice quiet cafe where temperature is cool, cool, and I can see through a window.
A walk in the winter woods.
Coffee by the lake on an autumn morning.
A nice book (don't ask me 'like what?' -- I'm a bookworm.)
Floating on my back in a quiet pool...
Seeing friends enjoy my cooking.

MC

2006-02-23T14:04:00.000+08:00

Caught flu from a rude colleague who refuses to take care of her own health and coughs with her mouth open in every direction. :( As careful as I tried to be, diligently swallowing Enervon-C and cod liver oil, I haven't managed to escape the virus.

Well, at least it's a good two days I get to spend time with Faith at home. :) She's been laughing and playing a lot with me. I'm glad she enjoys my company. Sometimes I think too much...I've been feeling a bit sad about having to take Faith out of the infant care even though I'd rather look after her myself. All her teachers are such nice and loving ladies...and Faith enjoys school and her baby friends. Sigh...choices I have to make.

I'm praying that God protects Andrew and Faith from catching any virus from me and for HC's family to recover from the stomach flu virus so that we can celebrate Andrew's birthday this weekend. This will be the first time we celebrate Andrew's birthday as a family. :)

Fixed!!!

2006-02-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

Finally got my links fixed!!! I've got them all saved in a text file this time in case kena sabotaged by Blogger again. :p

By the way, just for the info of those who might be wondering why this woman always blogs in the wee hours -- I'm not a blog-addict, I just need a break from waking up to leave for work and send my baby girl to infant care before the sun rises; and leaving work, fetching my baby girl from infant care just to go home to eat and sleep.

Leave me alone for awhile??

Out of Order

2006-02-01T04:46:00.000+08:00

This is the second time the entire template of my blog got wiped out... Grrr...don't ask me how; I didn't do anything.

Since I have to redo everything again -- I chose a new look! Heheh...just to cheer myself up a bit. Apologies to those I have referred to my blog for parenting and shopping links. I'll try to 'repair' the site as soon as my darling daughter allows me. :)

In the meantime, do email me if there's anything I can help.

May Your Light Shine Upon Us...

2006-01-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

Went out with the other ladies in Andrew's cell group tonight. Had great fun. :) Thanks to Andrew for taking over some of the housework so that I could go.

Thank God for His steadfast love...I prayed two days ago for Him to send me to other mothers, and them, to me. I asked for sisters and mentors at different stages of my life...and the cell group is starting the Mother Group that I've been praying for.

I prayed for Him to open all the doors for me in terms of financial and emotional security -- He did that too -- I was reached by another mother who prayed the same prayer. Penny is the mother of my ex-student and we have been friends since we first met. We are starting a business we can work from home and with our babies around us.

As all these good news keep tumbling in, I could only stay where I am and remain in awe of God's light shining on my face...

Mommy on MC

2006-01-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

Had one of my wisdom teeth removed on Sunday...pretty complicated surgery. I've known this one was impacted since a few years ago, but the dentist advised me to wait for it to decay and become softer as there is no gap between the wisdom tooth and molar for extraction, also, I'm allergic to too many kinds of medication to risk surgery.

This time, we already know exactly what I would be allergic to and what alternative medication I can be given. The tooth had to be sectioned, then extracted in two parts. Didn't hurt during the process; the pain only came after the anesthetic went off. The horrible thing was all the blood flowed back into my throat and I had to throw it out with the fish porridge that Andrew lovingly cooked for me. Eeeew...imagine the bloody-fishy smell!

Anyway, now that Mommy's down, Daddy's been looking after Faith since Sunday when I went to the dentist. He's been fetching Faith to and from the infant care yesterday and today. Thank God for this loving and humble man I married. He bothers to try, even though he might not know what to do with Faith when she's cranky sometimes. The good news is, because of that, he's closer to Faith now and able to handle her better. I'm proud of him. :)

Hopefully I can eat a bit more today and feel better, then I can fetch Faith from infant care in the evening. Haven't been able to eat much for the last two days, except Milo and plain rice with soup. It's not the wound that hurts. The entrance to my throat hurts more when I swallow; soreness along the sides of my tongue and the whole stretch of gum on the right side of my mouth.

A Prayer for My Beloved

2006-01-08T19:18:00.000+08:00

Lord,

I pray that You would protect Andrew and keep him safe on his journey home from the retreat. Hide him from evil and secure his steps wherever he walks. Hold his steps to Your path and let him not slip (Psalm 17:5); if he does, pray support him with your love (Psalm 94:18).

Grant him the wisdom to judge and discern, so he will go on his way safely and not stumble (Proverbs 3:21-23). Be his fortress, shield, strength and stronghold (Psalm 18:2-3). Make him dwell in the shadow of Your wings (Psalm 91:1-2).

Be his rock, salvation and defense, so he will not be moved or shaken (Psalm 62:6). I pray that even though bad things may happen around him, they will not come near him (Psalm 91:7). Pray watch over his coming and going, now and forever.

Amen.

~Original source of prayer from "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian~

Home Alone...

2006-01-08T18:34:00.000+08:00

Well...not exactly alone, now that I have Faith. My Raindanz is away for the weekend. It's raining heavily again...and I miss him especially when it rains...we both love to watch the rain dance...

Hurray! Managed to mop the floor! ^O^

2006-01-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

Thanks to the new spring hammock we got for Faith -- I finally managed to get the floor in the living room mopped! The h*** with whatever whichever experts claimed about the hammock -- I grew up sleeping in that anyway! Well, it bought Faith a good nap and me time enough to get some housework done. :p

Faith was happy and chatty after a good afternoon's nap...and Mommy's happy. ;)

Going back to bed now. Today's another fun-filled, busy day. We have Baby Massage class at 11am. Esther and Jeff are visiting in the evening.

Day Off

2006-01-01T14:43:00.000+08:00

Thanks to mom we finally got to watch 'The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe'! We sneaked out for a movie date while mom relieved us to look after Faith. Another of our favourite books came alive in movie magic. Another unforgetable movie...

Festive Streets; Crowded Bus; Quiet Baby

2005-12-30T18:45:00.000+08:00

Been bringing Faith out quite often.Nursing wear proved to be real handy especially during the festive seasons when everywhere is crowded. Queues for nursing rooms were long sometimes. Other times we're just trying to get away from the shopping crowd a.s.a.p. to go home. So far I've breastfed on buses and cabs, in cafes and restaurants, in church...hehe, yesterday I continued feeding Faith while walking into the building after I got off the cab. Nobody would notice unless they were watching closely!

Baby Massage

2005-12-30T18:40:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Celia for teaching me how to massage Faith to relieve her colic. Tried when we got home. Faith was delighted! And she did pass out some gas and burped easier during the feeds that followed! She appeared to be much calmer and peaceful after the massage. She would even let me leave her in her bed while I did a bit of housework! She's usually glued to me when she's awake these days, and I'd always have to work around the house with one hand -- which is the reason the house has been in a real state of mess these days. :( Hate it, but I have to keep consoling myself to 'do what I can'.

I've signed up for Baby Massage at Babies N Cream. Looking forward to class starting next week.

Colic

2005-12-30T18:35:00.000+08:00

Faith's colic was at it's worst (touch wood :p so far) day before yesterday. Something happened to scare her too, while Andrew was playing with her when he came home after work. She was smiling happily at Daddy, then her smile suddenly switched to wailing as if she was in pain! We were both shocked and didn't know what to do with her. Checked every bit of her body to see that she's not hurt, but it took her a long time to eventually stop crying after I held her tight and comforted her while I paced around the whole house. But couple of hours later, as soon as she was placed into Andrew's arms , she started crying and eventually was wailing until her whole little body was shaking! Poor Andrew must have felt so bad about what he didn't even know he did or not that Faith cried again and again when passed to him each time. Eventually he didn't even dare to touch her or let her see him. :(

Thank God Faith broke into a beautiful smile at Daddy yesterday afternoon when we had lunch at Ghim Moh after appointment with the infant care centre's principal. I could see Andrew melting at his little girl's smile...we always melt when she smiles. :) I was sooooo glad and grateful that the two 'made up'. Hehe...so touched when I see them looking into each other's eyes and smiled...almost cried. :')

Can't Sleep...

2005-12-30T18:30:00.000+08:00

Faith is finally asleep...but I've woken up and can't get back to sleep. Well, at least it's a quiet night to myself with Daddy and Baby asleep.

Half a month gone again and I haven't got time to blog. I do spend time on the pc, shopping online to stock up on nursing wear, but not blog. Just couldn't think at a slower pace. Time flies, Christmas is past and soon the year. Lots of passing thoughts in my mind of what's happened recently and what's going to happen...Illyssa's turning 6 today...Zac's turning 8 next week...gathering with Michelle and Rita for tea...Faith's baptism...Faith going to infant care...Ikea coming to replace the soaked cabinet...Chinese New Year...going back to work...etc. My mind is just filled with stuff like that.

Beginning of New Routine

2005-12-17T06:45:00.000+08:00

While I have yet to sort out the many thoughts and worries in my mind, Faith has turned one month old, and I am left to take care of my baby girl and the household since my mom went back to her own home. It's been five days since, I am now more confident handling Faith on my own -- even bringing her out alone! (",)v

Well, I'm no Wonder Woman...basically, I've just got to keep reminding myself to handle priorities of each moment with the limited amount of time and energy level I have. As much as I would like the house to be spic-and-span, I'd just have to close one eye (sometimes both!) until I can do better.

When I get bored staying at home and revolving around Faith's feeding time, I'd take a break and bring her out for a walk. I tend to sink into depression from stagnance and I don't want to go that way because when I'm unhappy, it affects people around me.

I'll just have to slow down for now and focus on one thing at a time, rather than worry about too many things undone. My hands are full at the moment with Faith beginning to demand more attention -- my learning schedule as a new mom is full now...

BE A RESPONSIBLE BREASTFEEDING MOM!!!

2005-12-07T14:07:00.000+08:00

* Please ignore the above unless it applies to you too.

A reminder to myself -- the following drinks are to be crossed out from my beverage list because what I drink is what my baby drinks. :(

and

Couldn't resist temptation and sneaked a coffee while lunching out with mom this afternoon. My poor baby hasn't been able to sleep... :( she must be so tired... the effect is wearing out on both of us now, but I feel so, so guilty...

Happy 1st Date Anniversary!!!

2005-12-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

Today marks 2 years since Andrew and I first met. :) Our baby girl is 26 days old. Mom watched Faith for us while we had an evening out. Nothing fancy -- simple, just like when we first met. What we enjoy most of each other's company...is simply each other -- no more, no less.

Focus

2005-12-04T11:27:00.000+08:00

Andrew shared news from his cell group when he got home:

- S&CQ's son, their second child, is born via caesarian today -- but baby's not suckling and on drip.

- J&M's daughter, also their second born, is having high fever.

- CK's family are away on holiday, but they lost their luggage.

As Andrew was telling me all these, I instinctively put my other arm over Faith protectively as I carried her. What dawned on me was -- are all these to bring our attention back to God? Then I remembered -- Andrew has been having a fever for the past two days.

Seems quite a number of them wouldn't be able to run the marathon tomorrow after all.

Looking for directions...

2005-12-03T07:26:00.000+08:00

Faith is 22 days old today. The last 22 days have been a flash to me. The hours passed as I watched the clock and the notebook jotting Faith's feeding time. Andrew and I have not even spoken much to each other of anything else besides Faith's development and managing the household. We are both stressed up by the lack of sleep and took turns falling sick. He is down with fever and still trying to complete his thesis.

I am like someone in the sea trying to catch a glimpse of directions from where I am now that I managed to regain a bit of foothold. I don't want to be 'just a stay-at-home-mom with no occupation'. Neither do I want to lose the joy and pleasure of enjoying Faith's company and looking after the household by being so tied down to even be able to find time for prayers.

I managed to steal some time to read while Faith was asleep and feeding today, and finished the chapter on 'Finding Time for Growth' in 'The Stay At Home Mom' by Donna Otto. I had borrowed the book from National Library on 23 Oct -- the weekend before we moved from Dragon View Park, but have not been able to finish reading the book due to so many things happening after that.

The author states the difference between goals and desires. Goals are often confused with desires. A desire is something you want to do that requires someone else's co-operation for accomplishment, while a goal is something you can accomplish that cannot be hindered by someone else.

I need to define and separate my goals and desires and write them down for a clearer view...

Faith learnt the bottle-way!

2005-12-02T07:37:00.000+08:00

Phew...and hurray! Faith finished 2 ounce of milk each time for 3 feeds from the bottle today!

To some mothers who are pro-breastfeeding, they might wrinkle their noses if they read this -- even I never dreamt this would be such a concern to me until I realized I actually have to 'train' Faith to drink from the bottle.

Almost all materials I have read during my pregnancy told me NOT to give her the bottle too early for fear of nipple confusion, and that she might reject the breast because it is much easier to drink from the bottle than the breast. But guess what? My little girl rejected the rubber teat flat and would rather continue to wail in hunger! My heart teared when I think of how she's gonna cope when I have to leave her at the infant care centre when I return to work in February -- and the tears 'overflowed' through my eyes when Andrew shook his head and mumbled, 'She's gonna lose weight the first week she's at the infant care...'

The usual me would just continue to worry myself sick and get depressed again. Luckily God always have a way of releasing my hands when I couldn't. One night during one of the night feeds, I sneezed and sprained my back muscle again. I had no choice but to rush to 马光TCM to seek help first thing in the morning, leaving Faith at home with mom. When mom tried feeding Faith frozen breast milk in a bottle, she licked the rubber teat and whined again. Mom persisted patiently and eventually got Faith to suck from the bottle!

The next day, I decided to try feeding her using the bottle during one of the feeds. This time she refused and wailed again. I was kinda disheartened and got worried again. Mom encouraged me to be patient and persevere. She said it takes time for babies to accept new things.

Today, I decided to try again. She licked the rubber teat slowly, her big eyes staring inquisitively at me...then she started to suck from the bottle! I was so proud of her! Towards the end of the feed, as she dozed off, she stopped sucking and went back to licking the rubber teat again. Then I realized she wasn't rejecting the rubber teat -- that is her usual reflex pulling milk from my breast with her tongue! And when she couldn't get milk out of the rubber teat by that reflex, she cried out of frustration and hunger!

Geez...I had forgotten that bottle-feeding is a new skill that she and I are both just picking up, and needs more practices to make perfect. Something so small, yet is one of those precious lessons Andrew and I picked up as new parents.

THE Day

2005-11-14T08:56:00.000+08:00

And I thought I was gonna blog the last week as I counted down to Faith's arrival...she arrived even earlier than we expected. :)

I was out at Ikea with mom last Tuesday, trying to get as much done to set up our new flat before I'm 'confined' -- of course, scandalising the whole world thinking why in the world were these 2 women, one middle-aged, one heavily pregnant, lugging so much stuff from Ikea?!

The day after that, I was intending to rest at home before the planned induction the next day, but ended up visiting the preschooler and baby my mom looks after since their birth. My mom treats them as if her own grandchildren and pines for them while she's here to help us for a month. She couldn't sleep well the night before that when she heard that Baby Jason had been down with a flu and the new maid they have doesn't seem experienced looking after them. Zoey and Jason seemed very happy to see us. That was the first time I met the maid -- I am glad and even more resolute about my decision to look after my own daughter.

Show appeared after I had lunch with mom at around 2.30pm. I was already experiencing what I thought felt like menstrual cramps throughout the night before. The 'cramp' began to intensify as the day went on but was bearable. My gynae, Dr Yvonne Soong advised me on the phone to look out for more show to appear and monitor movements of the foetal. Andrew was supposed to go for IPPT that evening, but since I was still alright and moving around, and mom was already staying with us, I asked him to proceed with the IPPT. Dr Soong called again at 7 pm to check on me and advised that I make my way to meet her at TMC at 11 pm. My waterbag was burst after Dr Soong confirmed that I was already 2 cm dilated.

Contractions intensified by the hour, later on minutes...poor Andrew could hardly sit down to rest. Each time when he barely reached the edge of the black arm chair set in the delivery suite for him to rest during the night, contractions came and he quickly got up to hold my hand in support. Throughout labour, I was thinking in my semi-concious state, that I am most glad of my husband's presence and support throughout the pregnancy and labour...thank God for the blessing of my precious husband.

At around 5 or 6 am, I couldn't handle the pain anymore, and asked Andrew if I could have epidural. It was arranged and I was asked by one of the midwives to sign a consent (I was thinking to myself then, 'How strange...the words are so blur to me I can't even see what I'm signing...but hack!'

At 12pm, after pushing for...don't know how long...Dr Soong told me that Faith had turned to face up, i.e. facing the same direction as I was. She said it's such a pity because I was already 10cm dilated then and we didn't have to induce as we had previously planned, but the baby's heartbeat was beginning to decrease. I couldn't really understood her then (after effects of the laughing gas and long labour, I think), but I wanted the baby to be out quick, and safe. I turned to look at Andrew and asked him, 'Ok?' He nodded, giving me the 'no choice' look. That was the only reassurance I needed that that is the best we can do for our daughter.

At 3.15pm, I woke from the c-section and saw only Andrew in the ward with me. I started asking questions about my little girl. Andrew was all smiles and told me that Faith stopped crying and looked at him when he carried her and talked to her shortly after she was born. We are so proud of her...

At 3.20pm, Faith was finally brought to me after the paediatrician had examined her thoroughly. A lactation consultant came to our ward to help me put Faith to the breast. To my relief, Faith was able to latch on without much prompting. I was so worried that she wouldn't be able to latch on properly if I couldn't breastfeed her immediately after the c-section that Andrew told me, before I was even stitched back, I asked if I could breastfeed her immediately! Hehe...before I completely passed out straight after that.

Well, nothing could set my heart at ease then, until I held my baby girl in my arms and know that she's real, she's here and I have her in my arms...our first born. :)

Beginning of THE week

2005-11-08T15:58:00.000+08:00

Mom's moved in with us for a month from today. Heheh...she seemed all geared up when we met in the morning, ready to get to work; but as the day went, she became more and more relaxed. Good to have her over to help out during the confinement, especially during the first two weeks when I'd be quite immobile, I suppose, but we really just wanted her to take a good break from fussing around my siblings and her two precious babies she's been babysitting since their birth.

She's slowly realizing that there's very little for her to do during my confinement besides cooking for us, bathing Faith and putting the laundry into the washer and dryer. Andrew also asked her to leave heavier tasks like mopping the floor to him when he gets home from work. I don't think she would though -- her own kitchen and bathroom floors are fit to be slept on ANYTIME!!! Usually, she stresses herself up (and others around her at the same time) being the perfectionist in housekeeping. She's less pushy when it's not her territory -- in this case.

I was out almost the whole day again today...what a scandal to many, I guess. ;p Even my own baby sister exclaimed, "What are you doing running around when you're near delivery THIS week?!" Hmm...put it this way, I'm really, really glad I can still move around despite my extremely swollen legs (yeah, not just feet) and reach to cut my own toe nails. The pain in my joints (finger-joints, knuckles, wrists, ankles and knees) subsides in the late mornings after I've moved around for awhile, so I'd rather keep moving than slow-down or do nothing. :) Thanks to all my kind friends, anyway. Please believe that I do cherish your well-meaning words and know that you care for my well-being.

My schedule tomorrow is to get the remaining things we need from Ikea, and clear up the remaining kitchen stuff in the living room and the mess on the dining table.

Not much time left...counting down to Thursday. I can relate to Mr Brown's feeling of everything around becoming larger than life when one expects the first-born...

Poor Andrew...

2005-11-06T15:16:00.000+08:00

How nice...to be away from work; yet ironically, it has been the next busiest time of this year, rather, my life, for the past week.

Friends have been telling me to rest, rest and rest because I'm near labour anytime soon. Much as I'd like to, I haven't been able to. Those who care for me think I did not exercise my 'choice'. To me, I haven't done much because I can't move faster than I can in my state now, except do whatever I can, to cover Andrew wherever he can't.

Too much for him to handle alone...moving to the new flat; getting it set up so that we can at least settle in without people tripping over as we buzz around when baby comes home with us; settling outstanding issues of the old apartment; trying to complete the thesis he meant to hand in end October; looking after me (with this incessant cough!); worrying about Faith's condition (whether her umbilical cord is endangering her further); admitting me to the hospital next Thursday night...etc. My poor man is up to his nose...

Alamak~! Just as I write, my dear husband (who has been seemingly losing his sense of directions recently) realized and exclaimed to me that he'd wasted 2 cheques without realizing we can actually pay our credit card bills at the AXN machine. '_' You see what I mean? I'll tell you how tired his mind is... We met the Lows for dinner at the Esplanade. Juriah pointed to a poster and told him, "They'll be showing 'The Little Prince' soon." He exclaimed, "Where?! There? In the restaurant???" Then, when we were waiting for the buses to go home, Illysa told us, "Godma, one day, I saw an egret crossing the road with the zebra crossing." He exclaimed again, searching around wide-eyed, "Huh?! Where?!" Juriah and I both went, "Aiyo~"

Ouch~! Contractions again. Been coming on and off since late afternoon today. Hmmm...

I am Sleeping Beauty...@^_^@

2005-11-04T13:10:00.000+08:00

Recommended by Mumspotter...haha, and guess which Disney character is my alter ego (to my surprise too!) -- Sleeping Beauty!!! Yeah...ok...well...I like to sleep; when I believe its possible, then it IS possible; I disobey my parents a lot; I have a vivid imagination; I am naturally curious; I love deeply and passionately...but of all the characters -- Sleeping Beauty...er...herher...#@_@# A bit unexpected.

You scored as Sleeping Beauty. Your alter ego is Princess Aurora, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty! You are beautiful and enchanting, and as sweet as ever.

Peter Pan

94%

Sleeping Beauty

94%

The Beast

69%

Cinderella

69%

Ariel

63%

Donald Duck

56%

Goofy

50%

Snow White

44%

Pinocchio

38%

Cruella De Ville

25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Past few days...

2005-11-03T16:07:00.000+08:00

Past few days have been a frenzied whirlwind of happenings keeping us on tiptoes most of the time. We hardly even stopped to speak to each other, and when we did, it'd have been late and we're both dead tired.

Andrew's trying to get as much organised and done around the two apartments at the same time; but I could tell he's more or less a working zombie...trying to stay focused and less confused by his mixed emotions. I can tell there're lots on his mind, but he's trying not to worry me.

Only until this morning, were the two of us finally breaking down...

Faith hardly moved yesterday. The standard observation we were told at the antenatal classes we attended was that there should be at least 10 movements in 12 hours. However, as she's usually very, very active -- often 20-30 movements in 20 minutes (especially when there are interesting sounds like children's voices, people talking to me in a quick and high-pitched tone, loud music, machinery moving near me, Andrew's voice etc.), it got us really, really worried.

I'd been picking up and putting back Yvonne's card with the emergency number yesterday, wondering to call or not to call her. It's a public holiday, and each time when I wanted to call her, Faith moved -- once. At 9.30pm, when I was unpacking our clothes from the suitcases, she started to move regularly again, but still slower than her usual. When Andrew returned from moving the last piece of furniture from Dragon View Park, she perked up responding to his palm placed on my tummy again, like she always does.

We went to Yvonne's clinic first thing this morning and had the CTG done. Heartbeat's normal, as we have observed using stetascope yesterday; movements were still lesser than her usual. Ultrasound showed the umbilical cord has moved up to her ear, but I agree with Yvonne -- we'd rather still play safe. If she's still quiet today and tomorrow, we'll induce on Friday; if she resumes her activity, we'll wait till next week. The strange thing is, after we've made that decision, Faith started to resume her activity.

I wonder if all these were caused by my physical and mental stress over the last few days. I hadn't been resting well because there was too much movement around. I didn't do much (because the guys and girls won't let me touch things) but maybe I've been upright -- sitting or standing around for too long. The swell in my feet just won't come down anymore, even when I've propped them up while I slept. Andrew thinks it might be because Faith is resting on some blood vessel.

Anyway, our new home has been tidied up in a shorter time than we expected. Andrew's set up Faith's room for mom's comfort during her stay with us for my confinement. While I write, he's set up Faith's little corner in our room with her playpen and changing station. He's also set up the study and pc yesterday and today. The rest of the unopened cartons can be sorted out slowly, over time. We have 'volunteers' to help unpack, hehe... Juriah has volunteered her children and herself to help unpack some of the stuff like books and cutlery since school holidays are round the corner.

We have been surrounded by so much love...and we cannot thank God enough for blessing us with all these people whom we love and who loves us...

Changes

2005-10-28T12:40:00.000+08:00

Moving to our new place this Sunday but we're still not completely packed yet. :( Been looking at Andrew helplessly while he packed...wish I could be of more help. I know, I know...MANual is for MAN, so consoled our dear friend, Maggie, but I still feel bad.

He's doing a great job packing and organising everything, but I'm used to moving around like 'lightning' (hehe...as quoted from my darling husband's blog), it's frustrating now I have to 'drag' my very swollen self around. He usually takes things at a leisurely pace (unless highly required by circumstances). He never once said 'stress' to so many changes he's facing now -- moving to a new area to live in after 32 years, deadline to hand in thesis, Faith's arrival anytime now (soon our usually quiet home will be filled with Faith's initial crying till she's used to her new world, and my mom's endless talking to baby, to me, to him and herself), the commencement of his new routine when he starts work before Christmas.

I'm all tangled up inside with mixed fillings -- very proud of him and the effort he is making for us; but feel very bad because I am usually more of a risk taker and extrovert than he is and now he has to face so much roller coaster shielding me...

Well, at least my maternity leave starts Monday. Hopefully Faith comes out sooner than we expect her to, since she's already so restless. I can feel her diligently elbowing her way down. She's packed herself up like a little canon ball. :) Andrew will have one worry off his task list once Faith is home with me.

From snowflakes to SNOWBALL!

2005-10-20T12:15:00.000+08:00

Last week I received another one of those forwarded emails requesting for some kind of help. Something stopped me as I was about to habitually delete it before I even read it.

I've received too many of such mails, I guess, and have been somewhat disappointed by quite a number of disencouraging feedbacks from some of my friends who replied to those mails I forwarded in the hope of snowballing help for someone out there whom I know nothing of except the help required quoted in the mail. Some informing that the emails are no longer valid as they were circulated from a long time ago; some informed they found out the mails were hoax.

The straight forward subject title caught my attention first. It was requesting for used school textbooks, school bags and stationery. I opened the mail and read on to find out that a group of volunteers have started giving free tuition at Blk 31 Chai Chee to children and youths from less privileged families.

I recalled my childhood days when dad would always 'disapparate' or end up fighting with mom whenever the school year comes to a close. My brother and I? It happened so often that I'm used to masking my face with brave positive laughters, as if nothing big deal's happening; my brother continued to glue his eyes emotionlessly on whatever tv program he was watching. There were times when we had electricity and water supplies cut off because the PUB bills hadn't been paid for as long as half a year. We read storybooks borrowed from the library and did our homework with light from the public corridor.

Friends are always surprised that I'm not emotionally affected by all that. In fact, I'm very thankful that God has brought me through all this way. The childhood I had, I believe is a path God carved out to mould me into who I am today. I can't imagine how different I would be, had I had an easier childhood.

Anyway, I started today with the brightest morning...the email I eventually forwarded after calling one of the volunteers to verify its authenticity has received even more response than it had already generated. Another group that is involved in projects helping youths on career guidance emailed me to ask if they could help and some of my colleagues have asked to be updated of any help they could offer too! It's overwhelming! SPH has arranged an interview with them too! Looks like the mail has reached far more than the intended receipients of 'a few close friends', as the volunteer I spoke to had told me.

Snowflakes might seem probably the most fragile existence on earth; but the power of snowflakes rolled up into a snowball cannot be underestimated indeed...

Nursing Room

2005-10-19T13:22:00.000+08:00

I've been earnestly looking out for signs to nursing rooms in shopping centres lately (Andrew influenced by me :p); in fact, I think I have more attention on that than doing justice to merchandise showcased in the shop windows. Obsessed? Maybe.

The constant worry that plagues me now is not being able to effectively continue breastfeeding Faith after my maternity leave, so I've been trying to do as much 'homework' while I can -- reading books and materials online, finding parental support online and in groups, researching and getting nursing aids that I need for lasting use (since I'm planning to breastfeed each child for at least two years). I can forgo the convenience of feeding my babies canned food, if it means compromising their health with products of lab experiment -- too much for me to trade.

Anyway, talking about nursing rooms in public places -- shopping centres, at least. As we scouted around for nursing rooms, we found to our dismay that most nursing rooms are built -- only for display. We're trying to encourage ourselves by constantly reminding ourselves that civic conciousness always take some time and, as one of Andrew's friends said, doing the right thing is never easy.

Take for example IMM; I never knew there was ONE nursing room in the building until I 'stumbled' into it one day. As the staff at the information counter later put it to me -- it's conveniently located on level 1, next to Bali Thai and Crunchy Carrot.

Why was I never aware of it's existence even though I've worked in the building for almost 2 years? 1) There is no sign indicating it's a 'Parents Room', 'Nursing Room' or 'Breastfeeding Room'; 2) There are always mops standing behind the opened frosted glass door, rags laid out to dry on the sink top; if you're lucky, you'll get to meet the cleaner resting his or her feet inside. Does it look like a nursing room to me? No, and it still doesn't now that I've been informed it is -- it still seem more functional as a janitor's room to me!!!

When the friendly information counter staff confirmed to me that THAT is a nursing room, I told her what I saw in the nursing room and request that she feedback to the management about this. She sounded shocked and agreed that the room shouldn't be doubled that way. She also promised she would feedback to the cleaning supervisor to see that the mis-practice stopped. Sadly, the room is in the same state I saw it last, when I dropped by the washroom next to it. I showed Danny the room when he came to meet me for lunch this afternoon.

What is the point of re-constructing new restrooms in shopping centres to include parents' rooms when proper use of the rooms are not safeguarded? :( And we consider ourselves 优雅社会...

Out!

2005-10-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

In two weeks, I will be out of office -- on maternity leave; out of our present lodge -- into our new home; and Faith will be out -- here, into the world! Hehe...getting more and more excited...so many things happening so soon.

I was recounting our 'track record'; long term deals are really not such good ideas for us after all -- ever since Andrew and I met, we've been doing things as if we are two single wings that met to form a pair.

28 Nov 2003 - Met on ICQ because we mistook each other for someone else.

6 Dec 2003 - Met at Parkway Parade after chatting on ICQ, SMS and phone for a week.

1 May 2004 - Andrew proposed at Toa Payoh MRT station and we were engaged that day.

8 Oct 2004 - Our ROM.

24 Jun 2005 - Our church wedding.

Nov 2005 - Our first child, Faith will be born.

Akan datang? - Planning at least three more children in the next four to six years...hehe...

See? That's why we can't be too sure if a 'special' subscription offered to us for a bulk of three years IS actually a good idea for us or not -- we don't even know what adventure we might decide to take a turn on next. ;p

Personality Profile

2005-10-10T08:29:00.000+08:00

Saw this link from Erwin's sister's blog and tried out of curiosity. Is that how I am like? Hmmm...sounds like one side of me, I guess. I chose this picture out of my 'loyalty' to white flowers being my favourite coloured flowers. :p

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

These paintings caught my eyes first...perhaps because of the colours and presentation of the pictures.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.
While you may not be a total hippie...
You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.
However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.
Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are happy, driven, and status conscious.
You want everyone to know how successful you are.
Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy.

A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself.
You always keep your cool and your composure.
You are a born leader and business person.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Mmmm...think it might sound more like me if all of the above are put together...dunno...*thumb and first finger on my chin...thinking*

Bzzzzzz....

2005-09-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Bzzz...in every sense -- busy shopping for the baby and our new flat; and zzz...as early as I can. :p Seem harder to sleep soundly these days...too much on my mind, I guess; but I'm happy. :) With a loving husband who is my best friend and partner in everything, what more can I ask. Nothing is really stressful since I'm not doing things alone.

Poor Andrew sprained his back on Sunday lugging the baby's new changing station-cum-drawer set from Ikea (31kg) and cot-cum-playpen from John Little (13kg). Worse yesterday -- he came down with a sudden high temperature in the afternoon. Turned out to be food poisoning from some almost-cooked chicken rice from Dover hawker centre, we think. So I'm home today -- playing nurse and amah. ;p Don't feel secure leaving him home alone though he's such a big man with definitely more medical knowledge than I do. His temperature has been fluctuating through the night.

Well, I can do a bit of packing and tidying in the house. Hopefully the house can be neat enough for another party for Mid Autumn Festival. Then we can have friends over for mooncake and tea. :) It'll be nice...we're hoping to have a few more parties here before we move to the new place -- enjoy the space while we still have it. The new place will only be half the size of this even though it's cozy and easier to handle for us.

Continue to give thanks...

2005-08-03T14:37:00.000+08:00

We have received yet another pleasant surprise from God...hmmm...is this the right way to put it? Weak as I am that I always have to remind myself to focus on doing my best instead of pausing to doubt, the Heavenly Father continues to show me how graceful and loving He is -- beyond my faith and belief...

I witness His faithfulness to my mustard-seed-sized obedience and faith again tonight...I can find no more words to praise Your holy name, Father... You have answered my prayers in Your way, in Your time indeed.

When we decided that we want to be married to each other, many things weighed on my mind. Money for the wedding and setting up our family, whether or not to bring together families and relatives estranged due to years of accumulated family quarrels; even fights. Then God's words got us reflecting and thinking over the sermon preached by one of the pastors in Andrew's church -- it was about judgement and forgiveness. What has happened in each of our lives have definitely become history in real time; but most of the time we continue to bind ourselves to old hatreds...like the picture I have seen on a tarot card -- holding onto three swords in one's heart.

I thanked God for emptying the weight in my heart, replacing with His wisdom, and prayed in my mind that He would also show the good sides of those he held bad childhood memories of, to Andrew. When I opened my eyes after the prayer and turned to look at him, he was in tears. He told me he wanted to meet the uncle he had hated most, for dinner. We did, some weeks later and had a very heartwarming dinner with his uncle and family.

Nearing our wedding, we see the rest of the family we hardly met over the years and were surprised and warmed by their heartwarming, sincere well-wishes. We did witness the good side that we did not see of them before; not the cold, distant faces we hardly exchanged words with, or faces one cannot guess but gets spring on the next minute.

Through all these gifts of enlightenment, we've also learnt the real meaning of an old Chinese saying, 'One's words, should be feared' 人言可畏. Most of the hatred in the family were caused by one thing or another that someone said. An innocent action from one person, can be blanketed and shadowed to become full of motives! Sends the chills off my spine as I am reminded again to be extra vigilant with every word that comes out of my mouth...never know how it can affect another, and another and another...without the slightest intention. There's no such thing as 'it's just harmless gossip' or 'no hard feelings, I'm just ventilating'.

Thank You, for the 'bonuses' You reward us with for simply enjoying living the lives you have given us.

Third Day in Melbourne

2005-07-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

We’ve been trying to sleep earlier, but haven’t been able to much as we’ve tried. Been sleeping around midnight or after for the last 2 days – watching Chinese tv series with Andrew’s mom. :p And guess what we’ve been eating for the last 3 days? Lots of Chinese food!!! Haha…funny huh? Not much diff now that I look back at what Andrew’s mom said, “You’re eating guai lou food when you’re going to Australia now?!” That was our dinner at Swensen’s, Changi Airport Terminal 1 before our flight here.

We dragged Andrew’s mom for a walk in Richmond (aka “Little Vietnam”) today. Stuffed ourselves silly with dim sum at Minh Tan II. I didn’t realize Andrew’s mom was gonna order half a roast duck and a plate of kailan with oyster sauce after I’d placed order for 6-7 types of dim sum!!! Luckily they were not too bad (well, at least in comparison to the obviously-frozen-then-microwaved dim sum we had in Chinatown yesterday)

Also found out we are able to get most of the Chinese groceries such as dried foodstuff and Chinese herbal products in Richmond than in Chinatown. We bought ginger (which we couldn’t find in the neighbourhood supermarket), salt, bitter and sweet almond, luohan guo, pork lard *yucks~ good thing it’s not intended for eating this time – it’s for greasing the wok. Andrew’s mom says we have to do that before we can start using a new wok* at a large Chinese grocery shop.

Saw lots of familiar stuff we normally see in supermarkets in Singapore. Good. Now I know we won’t be deprived of nutrition from Chinese wisdom in Melbourne. Both of us have studied carefully and trust Chinese herbal cooking more than western medicine and health supplement. Oh…and here’s a photo of my darling husband thrilled at finding ABC – not black but white this time...ABC Lychee Syrup -- who cares about the dark now! ;p

Back in Melbourne

2005-06-30T08:20:00.000+08:00

This time for our honeymoon (??) . ;)

Glad we decided to come here instead. Andrew's mom has been so chirpy over the last two days. The house is filled with our laughter and the smell of food cooking. Her life can be lonely here...she's not a very active person, which makes it work most of the time, then coming home to face the empty house and dvd.

It's cold, cold now...*brrr* but nice escape from Singapore's 34 deg. c. humidity. My mom-in-law couldn't get over Andrew's 'extraordinary' choice of 'pyjamas' in winter. Hehe...he's quite comfortable...didn't seem to bother him how we laughed our heads off -- as usual. :)

Our Wedding

2005-06-30T07:52:00.000+08:00

We can finally relax...*ah~* hehe... We're even more certain of our decision to keep the wedding plans firmly to 'church only', now that it's over.

Thank God for the wisdom and courage He has blessed us with for this wedding and our marriage. As Friar Mike said to us when we first told him the reason for the readings we chose for our wedding, "That's very daring of you...very bold. It takes a lot of courage to do so, and I really hope you guys can continue to think this way." We were and still are determined to run our family and our marriage in our own way, with God's Word as the pillar of our home. We've passed our first test, I reckon, during the wedding...

We both have large extended familes, so we decided right from the beginning, not to have lengthy Chinese wedding practices -- which includes an endless line of relatives for tea ceremony. My mom's alright with that, since it would keep things simpler. Andrew's mom on the other hand kept trying in the background -- the same way she makes her 'last minute struggle' for a Chinese wedding dinner.

After several attempts (without success) over the few days before our wedding to get us to make changes to our wedding according to what she wants, she tried to get Andrew to agree when he was nervously waiting for me to march down the aisle. She thought she could get him under that kind of circumstances since it's a 'yes' or 'no' answer. Well, she was certainly surprised, though not pleasantly by his more than one word answer-- "Sit down." :p [Yikes~I'd have been too polite and stressed up to provide the most appropriate answer in that kind of scenario -- that's one good reason I married this man. ;)]

You'd have thought she'd dropped that, but I learnt one lesson on how my darling mom-in-law survived alone in foreign countries all these years -- never say die! :p She tried to use my mom; next my aunt...small, little lady she is, but shrewd and tough huh? Think my mom and aunt were stressed out by their own politeness. Well, that's lesson number two for me -- one of the old curses to be broken from the family -- when one is too polite, one either starts storing up resentment; or loses one's identity sooner or later, becoming no lesser than a hypocrite. Hmm...sound harsh? Yeah, well, raw truth...guess I'll refine that over the years.

Eventually we did have dinner with Andrew's extended families of his five uncles. We insisted that it was a make-up reunion dinner since Andrew's mom hasn't been around for reunion dinner for years (either sulking over one thing or another, or was in Melbourne). We enjoyed the dinner as did everyone else. I'm glad we agreed to the gathering while keeping to our own terms.

Now that I am able to look back, God has shown me yet another miracle through this wedding. When I prayed for peace and directions for our wedding, the wedding in Cana popped into my mind immediately, and my anxiety over money, differences in our churches' expectations, and our families, was immediately lifted. I knew then that I was to leave the wedding plans in God's hands, and focus of the wedding should be entirely on the man I was to marry and God whom we want to be in our marriage. We have been truely blessed by the shower blessings from people whom we love and love us. Thank God for everyone of you. :)

没话说？

2005-06-18T15:36:00.000+08:00

我在想：真的没东西写，还是没东西想？

以前，每晚都要写了日记才会睡。自从认识冠雄以后，睡前的时间都是在和他讲话。婚前在电话上；婚后还在聊 -- 讨论想法、圣经、梦想；说白天的经历给对方听。白天即使有什么事，我们也会迫不及待地传简讯告诉对方。

也许以前日记是我唯一能尽情倾诉的对象；而现在我嫁了一个无所不能言的对象……也许他成了我的日记，所以他有这么多东西写 -- 连我那份也写了。哈哈……

Looking back...

2005-05-23T14:05:00.000+08:00

Not the first time I thought of this as I flip through my old diary -- to backdate and put everything on the blog. As I read the autobiographies or diaries (published books) of others and learnt lessons from their lives, I am reminded that I too will become a fullstop in history one day. Who knows what God has made of my life that another may see and learn something from my mistakes or blessings that I have received from God and the people I have encountered?

It will be a massive project though -- at least while I am still working full-time and managing our home. No hurry anyway...since I am only writing for myself. I know I might sound weird or aloof to some -- "why blog if you didn't mean for others to read?"

Well, I don't mind writing out my thoughts since I am one who speaks my mind anyway (I've improved to only do that when I'm asked -- so ask for my opinion only if you want to hear it and can bear with it, i.e. if I speak the truth that hurts and I definitely wouldn't want it to mean this way ;p)

My only concern is that friends who know me, but not well enough might be distressed by certain views I have; which is a problem I've had since childhood. I don't agree or disagree with most people, but I will only stick to my belief (if I have been convinced) and decision (after enough research and prayer). Thank God for teaching me to be like that, so that I may be blessed with friends' goodwilled advices, yet rely on God's direction for ultimate decisions.

Happy Mother (to-be) Day! ^o^

2005-05-09T12:27:00.000+08:00

The temperature has finally come down a bit over the last few days. It's been raining since this morning and didn't stop until early evening. Our room temperature has dropped to 28 deg C. when we got home at nine plus in the evening. It had been 31 deg C. on the average for a long time.

Andrew wanted to celebrate my first mother's (to-be) day. We went out for a walk in the rain and had breakfast at the roti prata shop opposite. After that, we continued our walk in the rain to Starbuck's where we had tea, read newspapers and watch the rain through the glass. The weather has been so pleasant today that I didn't even have to nap before we went out again to Changi Village! Yeah, we did -- had nasi lemak (the one without queue because I haven't found what's so good between one stall and another that's worth the queue) at Changi Village. Then we took a stroll at the beach and came home before it gets too late.

We enjoy each other's company like that. Talking about politics, people, sharing things we observed or learnt with each other, sharing view points on different issues, planning goals for our family and career together, praying together, etc. I hope we will continue to do the same even after the baby joins us. It's a pity to see how some of our friends forgot how they've started or their relationship used to be before children came into their lives. Worse, for many who has taken it for granted that life married with children should become boring routines. Sharing the same children and family becomes their only relation while they stop seeing the need to relate to each other, other than the children.

Some might say it's too early for me to comment on how a marriage should function and love should last, but I have no doubt that being in love after years of marriage is possible -- our late ex-President and Mrs Wee Kim Wee will be my model. Love never fails...

My Blog!!! Finally!!!

2005-05-08T13:43:00.000+08:00

Yeah! MY blog finally!!!

Been wanting to set up an online journal since I've always had the habit of 'writing' down thoughts and prayers. Accumulating too many books and papers all over the place after years. It would be nice to keep them all, but not too practical for me to include them in the movers' bill every year or two whenever I had to move to a new place. Anyway, whenever I had my last flip through those old journals -- no regrets. I saw another author that I don't know anymore -- me, before I changed yet again.

Some people don't like to change; for different reasons (or excuses?) I guess. I used to think it is being loyal and true to myself refusing to change; e.g. sticking to the same menu, same food, same cook, same boyfriend (even if he's someone obviously not suitable), same job, etc. Thank God. (I mean really 'Thank God' fullstop.) Thank God for putting me in situations that forced me out of my comfort zones to face and accept changes, and eventually see the benefits of changes transforming me into what I am today.

Career-wise, while others change jobs, I've been switching lines literally every three to four years, haha! I've had so much fun with whatever I've done professionally so far. Definitely not because they have been smooth sailing easy jobs; on the contrary, tears were shed, many hours and my health has been spent on them. But whenever I look back, I only see how I made it and grew out of my weaknesses and confidence level, above all, each unique experience and person I encountered along the way.

My...the first post and already so wordy and lengthy. I wouldn't read on if I were someone else reading this blog, hehe...

Rainbows from God

Too busy for a walk with the children?

Reading Together at Bedtime

人生的标杆

Faith Can Read

强？

无敌

In the eyes of a child...

静和也会自己吃饭

Following God Closely

Order

Progress

Has it been that long?

Blog Again in 2010

The Lord's Prayer

Blog Blocked

God vs Money

Deuteronomy 8:3, 5

...人活著不是單靠食物，乃是靠耶和華口里所出的一切話。 你當心里思想，耶和華你神管教你，好像人管教兒子一樣。

School for Parenting?

Our Homeschool Curriculum Came Through...FINALLY!!!

One God

砲火連天！

Eve of 牛 Year

Psalm 30:12

Our Mac Photo Booth

Psalm 46:10

ER

Settling Down

Shanghai !st Impressions

Counting down...37 days to go

Basic Wholemeal Bread

Blogging from Palm

Peaceful Moment

Where got time to cook ('_')?

My WMF Pressure Cooker

抱着你们的感觉

Lasik

Christmas Present

Stir-fried Beef with Asparagus

Terrorists

Towards a Gracious Society?

对婚姻和家庭的启示

K.O.!!! @_@

Quick Fish Soup + Chinese Spinach with Conpoy & Kei Chee

Thank God for Gifts of Labour

Craving... :q'

Second Rainbow On the Way :)

Fuzhou Fish/Meat Balls ala My Style ;p

Starting 2007

Dream BIG...becoming BIGGER!

简单的幸福

家和...难?

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Completed Breastfeeding Counselling Course!!!

Challenging Da Vinci Code

Lots to catch up, but...

I am the Mommy-cum-Daddy this week... :(

CoUnTiNg DoWn AgAiN...

Tagged...long time ago!!! :p

MC

Fixed!!!

Out of Order

May Your Light Shine Upon Us...

Mommy on MC

A Prayer for My Beloved

Home Alone...

Hurray! Managed to mop the floor! ^O^

Day Off

Festive Streets; Crowded Bus; Quiet Baby

Baby Massage

Colic

Can't Sleep...

Beginning of New Routine

BE A RESPONSIBLE BREASTFEEDING MOM!!!

Happy 1st Date Anniversary!!!

Focus

Looking for directions...

Faith learnt the bottle-way!

THE Day

...人活著不是單靠食物，乃是靠耶和華口里所出的一切話。你當心里思想，耶和華你神管教你，好像人管教兒子一樣。